Monday, January 28, 2008

Suddenly a widow

I'm wondering if anyone else in the class is a widow or widower. My husband died unexpectedly about five weeks ago from complications of kidney transplant surgery at age 49 (yes! I had a younger husband), and I was the donor. I would really like to hear from anyone else who has experienced the really wrenching loss of a spouse.



A Journey Well Taken: Life After Loss said...

Hello Nancy: I am very sorry for your loss. I am not in your class but I saw your post and felt moved to answer.

I too am a widow, but my husband died almost four years ago, and he was sick for almost a year with esophagus cancer. The leaving is not easy, whether it's terminal illness or sudden. What a wonderful, loving gesture to give a physical part of yourself also to your husband. It is truly a monumental testament to loving someone.

We all deal with the grief of loss in our own way, and yet there are many similarities. One thing I would suggest, (and this is hindsight knowledge for me) please talk to loved ones, family or friends who care about you. Let them know how you are feeling and how you are doing. If you have one available, talk to a counselor and other widows, support groups. Share whatever you feel like sharing. The rage, the hopelessness, the really does help with the grieving, having that support. For myself, I wrote a journal, which I later decided to have published so other widows can see we are not alone. In the grief process that to me is the most important thing, to know you are not alone. Best wishes. I have artices on grief, loss and bereavement on my site, at various stages of grief, if you are so inclined to read them. Elaine Williams

Anonymous said...

Hi, Nancy & Elaine -- So sorry to hear about your losses. Sandy Pesmen, a friend from the Chicago Daily News who became widowed last year, recently set up a website where you may find some comfort:

Marcia Kramer